Campaign Crap You Can Use

Midterm elections are coming up, so 'tis the season for negative ads, big/vapid talk, kissing babies on camera, much finger-pointing/yelling and screaming (known in polite circles as debating), and LOTS of campaign literature flooding your mailbox. 99% of the things brought to your door by your friendly neighborhood mail carrier is as useless as the pizza pan-sized Kerry-Edwards button my friend fished out of a Boston hotel trash can a couple of years ago, but for the sake of our planet, please try to make the most out of them. Toss them into the recycle bin, do math on them, use them to catch vegetable or fruit peelings, save them for kindling (you know fossil fuel prices are sure to shoot up again), etc. On rare occassions, you don't need to strain as hard.

I got a bunch of stuff in the mail, most of which will be used as described above. I found one envelop with something soft in it. I saw the envelop and wondered, what the heck? Free gift from someone I don't know. Name sounds vaguely familiar, though...

Hey, Mom said don't take candy from strangers, but this obviously isn't candy, so I opened it. This is what I found inside:

?????! Does. Not. Compute.

So I turned it around.

Oh, I get it. It's a "gift" from the wife, urging me to vote for her husband.

I thought this was a pretty clever campaigning move, but this thought evaporated within 30 seconds. I found a second envelop from the wife of some guy running for the state assembly. Well, now I've got 2 potholders for free. This is just too good. My sister asked if matching oven mitts are coming next.

So what ridiculous yet useful bribe have you received in the mail?

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